Friday, May 22, 2009

My Torture Memo

I once worked on a video about an elderly woman known for her civil rights activism. Her husband had been a town mayor and also an activist, but she said that his head was in it more than his heart. He was more of a pragmatist striving for even-handed governance and justice rather than a crusader for a moral cause.

I won't claim to be any kind of effective activist or pragmatist, but I do at least share with the woman's husband a desire to be pragmatic. So, with respect to torture, I'm less interested in the moral issues than the question of whether it gains us more usable information than non-tortuous techniques.

All I can do is stack up the case made by one camp against the case made by the other. There is the claim by Marc Thiessen, for instance, that the plot to attack the Library Tower in Los Angeles was foiled because of information gained through torture of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. But this article by Timothy Noah cites a fact sheet provided by the Bush White House in 2002 saying the Library Tower plot had been discovered and broken up, and this was before KSM's capture in March of 2003.

Thiessen and Dick Cheney (for example, in his speech yesterday) say the recently released torture memos only tell part of the story, that they don't tell of the useful information that was gained form torture. Maybe, in time, more information shedding light on this will be declassified. But until then, we are lacking specifics.

Meanwhile, there is this detailed account of how Zubaidah gave little information . . . until he was tortured, at which point he provided awealth of information that sent CIA agents scrambling all over the globe spending millions of dollars chasing false leads. And there is this account by Ali Soufan stating that much useful information was gained by traditional interrogations of Zubaidah, while the torture used later backfired in events that are still part of that still classified information Cheney is referring to. Soufan also cites a chronological problem with a torture-defenders' argument: that torture of Zubaidah lead to the capture of Jose Padilla. And yet, Padilla was captured before the torture was approved in August of 2002.

Can the torture defenders make arguments that are not so easily debunked?

Consider also, besides Zubaidah's, the false leads produced by torture of Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi. Torture of al-Libi yielded much valuable information about Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction. al-Libi's testimony was inserted into Colin Powell's fateful speech by al-Libby, and the U.S. saddled itself with a six-year-and-counting insurgency consisting of Iraqis who had not been our enemies before that invasion.

So, really, Dick Cheney? Torture has saved hundreds of thousands of lives?

To really determine whether torture works, we would need to see all information gained from torture and determine what percentage was helpful; and compare this to all the information gained from non-torturous techniques and the percentage of that which was helpful. I doubt we'll ever have access to all that information.

With the evidence we do have tilted toward showing torture does not work, why not then err on the side of morality and forbid torture?

5/24 Update: What is a Mancow anyway . . . a giant man-boob? Apparently so. Also, the results of Zubaidah's torture interrogations are more clear than I had thought. Here is Marcy Wheeler explaining what the 9/11 Commission reported of information gained by Zubaidah's torture. In summary, 10 pieces of not-very-useful information were learned from 83 sessions of waterboarding.

Continue . . .

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I just saw Meghan McCain on Colbert . . .

. . . and did so many spit takes I drank my chocolate milk twice. I have decided that she, rather than her sister Bridget, would have been a better subject of that year 2000 smear campaign before the South Carolina primary, for the purpose of denying McCain Republican votes.

I think of the prudish Republicans I know, and I'm sure they're about to bust a gasket over the Republican being the "Party of the Pro-Sex Woman." With such talk coming from a candidate's daughter, there is no need to invent a story about his siring illegitimate black children.

McCain's campaign manager from 2000, Richard Davis, in the above article, says there is no response to a personal smear campaign like that. To respond is to be defeated, he says. However, I believe I have just thought of a suitable response: "Sure I sired illegitimate black children. It makes me more Jeffersonian!" Turn the issue right back on those Constitution beaters.

Incidentally, that link about Jefferson having Black descendants is to a book written by a TV producer I worked for on this project about a local architect.



But, getting back to the Pro-Sex Party with it's allegiance to the founding fathers. If Jefferson was so busy siring children by his slave(s), then would he say the government needs to uphold the sanctity of marriage? Or would he be more open to variants on the institution, such as gay marriage?

Continue . . .

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Housemate Sessions Vol. II

You might recall from a previous post that Housemate D effing rocks. Now I bring you the results of our second session, held a year and a half after that first one.




This time, instead of the dining room, it was in Elrond Hubbard World Headquarters (i.e. my bedroom); instead of being spontaneous, we had a few weeks of yelling back and forth through the house, "When you wanna do this recording / I don't know, maybe next Tuesday . . ." which afforded some time for practice and planning; and instead of using rented equipment home for just one night before doing this shoot the following day, it was my own equipment, purchased in February and still hardly used because this year has been so slow.


Though April was moderately busy -- with a shoot for the crime show, a week doing promos for a local TV station, two days doing interviews for John Deere, and a day each on an instructional video, a testimonial from this Olympic athlete, a conference hosted by this local think tank -- mostly I used the gear owned by the people hiring me. But that athlete testimonial did use my gear, and the tiny Countryman mic performed beautifully. It even sounded better on the indoor interview than the Sanken CS-3e mini shotgun boom mic. This boom mic is supposed to handle reverberating interiors better than a Sennheiser 416, but it did pick up some funny reverb in that little room in the track building. This reverb I didn't even notice until I got home and played back some of the backup recordings. It's a hazard of listening to one mic in each ear on set. You don't necessarily hear either one in much detail.

Speaking of reverb, I with I could add a little to the voice in these recordings. My free software, Audacity, is pretty cool, but has no reverb effect. When I get real audio software someday, I will go back and add reverb to the voice.


For making backup recordings on set, I have a Zaxcom ZFR100. It is small and seems very durable, and it can jam timecode from cameras and other recorders. Its connectors are positioned in a weird way on it though, so despite being small, it is very awkward in the bag.


I used the Zaxcom for backing up these recordings, but for the primary recording I used my Sound Devices USBPre. I recommend this for anyone who wants to record just 1 or 2 tracks of audio in the computer. It is a wonderful analog/digital converter. When I play CD's in the computer and run the audio through it, it sounds better than my expensive stereo system purchased 20 years ago.


For the instrumental recordings you are hearing, I put two mics on the guitar: the Sanken CS-3e, and my Sanken CS-1, a secret weapon purchased on ebay for indoor booming when there's time to switch out from the CS-3e mini shotgun. Using the two mics gives sort of a fake stereo effect.


But when there's singing, I had to put the CS-3e on the voice, while leaving the CS-1 on the guitar. This rendered two fairly flat sounding mono tracks. However, what you are hearing is a little more lively than two mono tracks. Getting this slight liveliness into the recording took lots of experimenting. Much of the past few weeks of sitting at home not working has been spent fussing with equalization and compression (both of which I don't know much about but I'm learning), going on the theory that if I could make the guitar and voice sound a little different in each ear, then overall it would sound sort of stereo-ish.

In fact, here's what a portion of the next clip sounds like as recorded, with each mic relegated just to one speaker.


And here it is with the fake stereo treatment I finally settled on. Can you guess what the treatment is?


I love how Housemate D just jumps into improvisations like the instrumentals on here. I swear, all but one of these recordings is the first and only take. Only this song you just heard required several takes; and at that, what you hear is a single take, not something edited together. He just sits in his room and plays these things, but he doesn't practice much -- maybe just 15 minutes here and there before heading out to the library. He doesn't have time for serious guitar playing and he has nearly no formal training. He was a star law student and argued a case before Justice Anton Scalia in a mock court a few months ago, for chrissakes. And yet, listen to how he varies his chords and uses inner (instrumental) voices on all these songs. This is not your average strum-and-humdrum at the local cafe. This is more like Strum und Drang.


I knew the instrumentals were improvised, but in the midst of making these recordings I asked where he had gotten the songs. "I just made them up," he said.

When? I had never heard these songs coming from his room. But when the mics were on, he had them ready, enough to fill an audio CD. And then, two weeks after that, we did another session where he laid down a whole nother CD's worth. I have not started editing them yet. That is my next task, and there is some more seriously interesting stuff there.


Continue . . .

Monday, May 4, 2009

Coming Around on the Carbon Regulation Thing

Just as Mowgli was raised by wolves, I was raised by Republicans, and the vestiges of their teachings still resound within my pained and indecisive heart. So, despite my well documented love of algae farming as a prospective alternative oil source, I've been filled with enough free-market claptrap to have my doubts about carbon caps, credits, and regulations. I have stated that I fear the creation of a new market overlaying the existing one -- that such an artificial construct will not last.

But it has come to me like this. Any time a lobbyist has influence in government, this is also not a free market force . . . correct? So there goes Exxon spending 9.32 million on lobbying in the first quarter of 2009 in attempts to get its way with environmental regulations, drilling rights (on federal land), and tax breaks.

And there went the corn ethanol lobby trying to prevent Schwarzenegger from passing California's plan to cut carbon emissions by gas and Diesel producers by 15% over the next 11 years.. The lobbyists were worried that the corn ethanol industry would be harmed. But their very existence seems to me the result of governmental forces in the form of subsidies. From 2006 to 2011, the corn ethanol industry will receive 5.7 billion in federal tax cuts. Who knows where these large corporate bastions of capitalism would be if they really had to compete in a truly free market, without government intervention?

So given that so much non-market governmental influence has steered the course of our private sector anyway, I've decided I will no longer express doubts about reasonable and gradual enforced reductions in carbon emissions, or about carbon caps and trading. It seems to me to amount to the government helping one industry or another, but not necessarily an overall increase in government influence.

California passed that regulation. This has eliminated that state as a market for corn ethanol. Obama wants to set similar regulations to a national level. I say, bring it. And if this helps the algae to flow as a very low carbon-footprint product, then that's all the better.

Continue . . .

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Blog Friends, AKM of "The Mudflats" Needs Our Support

I've been saying to myself for a while that the best way to get news these days is to read a blog by someone who knows what they are talking about. I was just reading today another post saying the same thing -- that good, insightful blogs are written by people with particular interest and knowledge in the subject matter; their statements can easily be backed up with links; and comments provide immediate feedback and support or critique. The excellent news blogs that I read are Informed Comment about the Middle East by Juan Cole, who has lately been touring the talk shows; Small Wars Journal about U.S. military operations, contributed to by John Nagl, David Kilcullen, and others who have been on NPR (and I hope other large media venues) talking about our revised approach to Afghanistan; Paul Krugman on economics; and, since the nomination of Sarah Palin as Republican VP candidate, The Mudflats by anonymous blogger AKM.

AKM writes about Alaska politics. AKM is funny and very knowledgeable and clearly puts much time into blogging. The blog has a tremendous following as indicated by the well over 150 comments it gets on each post. And, I'd say the comments are some of the most entertaining on the 'Net, as comments go.

Lots of politicians up there take criticism from AKM. For a while, one state legislator, Mike Doogan, has been trying to find out who AKM really is. Progressive Alaska wrote about his exchange with Doogan, with Doogan asking for AKM's identity. Doogan eventually did find out who AKM is and outed him/her on Friday in an apparent attempt to intimidate AKM.

There have always been anonymous writers. Daily Kos notes that Mark Twain and George Orwell, both pseudonums, wrote political and social commentary. Ben Franklin had several pseudonyms. Doogan said that he supports freedom of speech as long as the speaker makes his/her true identity known. I don't know the legalities of all this, but Kos and others are talking about everyone's right to remain anonymous if we choose. Kos notes several statements by the Supreme Court upholding the right to "pamphleteer" anonymously. Reasons for remaining anonymous are personal -- a person could be afraid of repercussions from an employer with conflicting views, for instance. This is one big reason why voting is anonymous in our country as well.

Strangely, Doogan is a Democrat (the party AKM is generally aligned with) who was openly critical of Sarah Palin when she was made the VP candidate. He used to be a journalist who did not hesitate to skewer politicians and make enemies. As far as I know, the worst thing AKM said about Doogan was justifiably criticize his email etiquette in responding to emails from concerned citizens. But reading Doogan's emails cited by AKM shows that me might be "losing it." His obsession with AKM could be another sign of this.

Since being outed, The Mudflats has experienced a swell in traffic compounding the swell a few months ago when Palin hit the national stage and everyone needed a blogger who had been on the case of Alaska politics for a while -- except that The Mudflats had only been around since May of 08. It's rise to fame so soon is lucky and also warranted. This surge in popularity will benefit The Mudflats and backfire upon Doogan. Meanwhile, The Mudflats is happy to hear from supporters, including anonymous bloggers. Stay tuned over there for indications of how The Mudflats and its followers, Mudpuppies, rally and will not be intimidated.

Continue . . .

Thursday, March 12, 2009

These Were All Really Nice Folks

The appearance on the Internet of this picture, taken in fall of '07, means the show Casting Call is coming to the airwaves. It's a reality TV show about casting for a small part in the movie Spring Break '83 which, apparently, is also nearing completion.



This job had the hardest audio routing I've ever had to do, though in retrospect I guess it wasn't that bad; and in some types of audio work, they do it all the time. Four microphones had to be distributed to 8 tracks on 4 cameras, isolated and mixed according to certain specifications. Then all camera headphone outputs (8 more audio feeds) had to be returned to the mixer and fed back through subgroups so I could monitor them; and the gain at every point had to be calibrated so that the levels of outgoing audio in the mixer, levels in the cameras, and levels of headphone return audio in the mixer all were the same.

I can think of a few readers who might be able to name all three of the people sitting down. You know who you are.

Continue . . .

Monday, March 9, 2009

Tree Frogs

I'm gonna get arrested doing this someday. This was recorded in a neighborhood on the way home from dance practice tonight. I took the segments with the least traffic, but you can still hear some.




Here's a fun thing to do on a slow Saturday night. Play one of these tracks and a river track from the previous entry at the same time. Voila, noisy frogs by the riverside! Add some nighttime insects from this entry (load in a different tab or window) and play all three simultaneously for true audio wackiness!

Continue . . .

Sunday, March 8, 2009

River Recordings







Continue . . .

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Live Blogging the Arrival


8:15 PM: Look at it all pure, wrapped tightly in its placenta. Once I cut the cellophane, it will start the long path to deterioration. It should last over 10 years though. It's the best mixer of its kind.

7:08 PM: I force myself to go exercise in the yard for 1/2 hour. It's cold. I should have done this in the sun earlier, but I was obsessed with cleaning.

4:56 PM: I activate the insurance policy.


4:54 PM: It's here!!!!!

4:00 PM: I'm propping edges of the futon up on a tool box so I can vacuum the floor right where it normally rests. This definitely needed to be done. I wonder if I can alleviate some of this dust with an air cleaner? Better check Consumer Reports.

3:00 PM: While taking paperbacks off shelves to dust them and the shelves, I find a stash of little black pellets. It's either mouse droppings or maybe roach droppings? We do have the occasional roach here in the upstairs, and the books are not torn up, so it's probably not mice. I spray the shelf with Lysol and wipe it down, but a few books have the edges of their pages stained with the stuff. This is a bummer.

2:00 PM: How interesting that I would find a 15-year-old 45 rpm record while waiting for audio equipment intended for digital recording to arrive. This was made by friends back in the early '90's as a demo album for their band, "Grimace Jr." Their drummer lived in the house I still live in. He now plays for Veronique Diabolique.

This is a reminder that even when we were a few years out of college, bands put their demos on records. When I worked on a movie set as cableperson on '92, the recordist there was using analog 1/4" tape. The boom operator asked him, on the prep day, if he had thought about going digital. "When the wind is blowing, and trucks are going by, and the actor can't remember his lines and it's take 92 and I have to pee, digital doesn't matter."

Soon thereafter, digital audio tape came in. Its recorders and players were very temperamental. They would go down if it was too cold; they were susceptible to humidity. I recently got a call from a young filmmaker trying to prepare a budget for a low-budget movie. He asked what we would record audio on. DAT?

"Noooo!" I said. Any DAT machine around now is several years old, and who knows when it was last maintained. For serious work, they were replaced by hard drive recorders. And now those are being replaced by flash memory recorders, though in the large film/video production world, there are few recorders that use flash memory only. Most have internal hard drives and backup to flash memory or DVD RAM.

********************

10:07 AM: Fed Ex just drove by. Hey, hey, over here! Oh wait. It's UPS that I'm waiting for.

Damn this house is cold. Last week I could warm it up by opening windows. Today is sunny, and also has reflected fill-light from the melting snow. It's so bright I want to open a window, but I doubt it would help.

I'm reading Obamanomics by John Talbot. It talks about how people, when they get to choose a career, choose something more in line with what they want to do rather than what makes the most money. This is part of his argument that a healthy economy depends on a vibrant middle class rather than a coddled upper class. The upper class, after all, doesn't start that many new businesses. It just squirrels its money away for the future. And, I'll add the observation, the upper class doesn't necessarily hire people to do what they want or are good at anyway. They just hire people to do what the company needs, and often people working on companies feel that they are part of a dysfunctional system.

Anyway. Here I am making my first serious step toward having a career, at the age of 40. It's certainly not for the purpose of making good money. It's not commensurate with the stature of my college or the esotericism of my degree. It's nothing I ever stated that I want to do -- everything that I have stated like this has not worked out. It's what, at one time, I ended up doing. As a PA on local video productions, sometimes they would hand me the headphones. I had to use their crappy wirelesses, their single boom mic intended for outdoor use both indoors and outdoors. Their old mixers with scratchy pots and sticky VU meters. Eventually, I was being hired more to "do sound" than be a PA. But I still didn't really like the work or the constant question of where my next paycheck would come from. So I left the production business and went to work for a friend in his company on the Internets. For one year, I was happy. I could go to work and the office was there; I didn't have to load the car every morning, or drive around town picking up gear. For the second year, things started to look kind of dull. Then came the summer when all Internet employees everywhere were laid off.

Then I applied to MFA writing programs. Then I substitute taught in the notorious local school system which, after a year, didn't look all that notorious to me, though my expectations of the work were low, and I didn't accept long-term subbing gigs, because I didn't want to prepare lessons or grade tests.

Then one old client started calling me again. And I was offered a job teaching this crazy trade that I had hardly worked in for 3 years. Word got out that I was available, and work started to ooze back in.

I had a terrible experience working on the most popular show, a reality show, one fall. The wireless systems simply would not behave, and I could not understand why; nobody I was working with understood why (and I was supposed to be the one who understood anyway); and the rental company did not explain it when I called them. Months after that gig I happened to read the answer on the trade newsgroup. I realized the local company that hired me did not have the right wirelesses for the level of difficulty of a show like that. Not all wireless systems were the same -- and most were not intended to work in conjunction with more than 1 other system.

The following spring, another large wireless job came up. I came close to buying my own gear for that job. I had a preliminary conversation with an awesome dealer in Connecticut. But some folks talked me out of it, mostly because one thing I wanted to buy was a fancy new hard-drive recorder. "It will never be used," they said, meaning, most jobs just send audio to the camera and don't want it recorded separately; certainly not on a $5000 machine costing the client $100 a day. "You'll have a nice pet recorder sitting on the shelf," they said. They were right. I called the dealer and said I wouldn't be getting that gear this time. Instead, to get equipment up to that job, I had to rent from Nashville, TN. (Atlanta or New York would have worked also.)

More years went by. I kept telling the local client hiring me on reality shows that we did not have gear up to the task. Finally, with a large MTV job pending, he asked what we would need. I made up the list and made the arrangements with that awesome dealer in Connecticut. This time the deal went through. The gear arrived on the day before we needed it, a day on which I had work on a different job. So I put the new gear in my car, went to the other job and used other gear, then stayed up that night assembling the new gear for the bigger job the next day.

I loved that new gear. We used it to finish a large documentary that got some critical acclaim last year. We used it exclusively on another documentary which was destined to be fantastic until its producer changed everything.

Now that client who owns that gear spends most of his time trying to scare up fancy new documentary work. He has not hired me much recently. Other folks are using that gear and returning it in a jumbled state, with wireless receivers lying loose and sideways in the bag, not securely strapped upright like I always keep them. A DC power cable went bad on one guy and he neglected to inform anyone until I almost got screwed by it, but we were able to get a new cable in on short notice. (This cable had a connector that you can't get around here, so we didn't think we could repair it ourselves. And there probably wasn't time to repair it anyway.)

And I'm tired of going to Raleigh to pick up that gear; or tired or renting from another company in Chapel Hill.

So last December I started buying used wirlesses and a boom mic on ebay. In early February, I ordered a new boom mic and backup flash recorder with timecode from the guy in Connecticut. (I've spent a total of an hour on the phone with him, literally. We talk about each item, and he really makes sure it's what I need, based on what I'm going to use it for. The details go down to such matters as exactly what kind of shockmount I need, or how waterproof I need my lavalieres to be.) Last week I ordered the rest of the stuff; the mixer, the Loon boom, the bag, the power system, the batteries and charger, the cables and connectors which I will have to make myself over the next few days. It's 53 pounds and it's arriving today.

********************

9:00 AM. It's quiet here, and I can hear trucks rev blocks away. Every time, I think UPS is coming. They will arrive, today, sometime between 9am and 7pm.

It is making me grow up. It's like expecting a baby. I've been reading instructions online; I've spent the better part of two days cleaning Elrond Hubbard World Headquarters, and it will need cleaning for a good part of today as well. Last week I could smell the dust in here. It was making me sneeze. I can still smell it a little, but it is better. Here is what I've been up against in my cleaning -- what it has looked like for most of the recent years:



Sights and smells of dust are worse in the halls and rooms outside my own. I will swiff these too. Housemates are supposed to do that, but they're a little slack. We need a cleaning stimulus bill.

I need it clean so that the electronics will feel welcome. And you may ask, what about the humidity when summer arrives? Well, I've got giant Ziplock bags and I will get some powerful desiccant.

Continue . . .

Friday, February 27, 2009

Isn't Pork Stimulating Too?


Republicans are grousing about pork in the stimulus package. Normally, I would grouse too, but this time, I wonder if we should. Isn't pork stimulating?

The WSJ listed its gripes in this article which, being a month old now, might not be addressing the current version of the stimulus bill. But this is one of the few articles in a mainstream newspaper that lists pork in the package, so I'll use its examples.

We've looked it over, and even we can't quite believe it. There's $1 billion for Amtrak, the federal railroad that hasn't turned a profit in 40 years; $2 billion for child-care subsidies; $50 million for that great engine of job creation, the National Endowment for the Arts; $400 million for global-warming research and another $2.4 billion for carbon-capture demonstration projects. There's even $650 million on top of the billions already doled out to pay for digital TV conversion coupons.


Maybe this is pork. But won't all these projects create jobs? Some opponents will say that they don't create ongoing jobs, just temporary ones. But my layperson's understanding is that we need to get people working and spending again, and this will provide further stimulus to the economy which, ideally, will bring back to health business, which is where more sustained employment can be found. Sure, it's a trickle effect, but what Republican doesn't like a trickle effect?

And the WSJ implies that these projects are the means for liberals to have their way with taxpayers' money. Rahm Emmanuel is quoted saying, "Never let a serious crisis go to waste. What I mean by that is it's an opportunity to do things you couldn't do before."

Good point, WSJ. We don't want ideologues taking advantage of public fear or anxiety to further their own schemes. Let's keep a sharp eye out for that. At least these are investments in our own country; not donations that end up feathering the nests of tribal leaders and corrupt politicians and military officers.

And while we don't know exactly how these projects will be implemented, at first glance I see them more as good investments than pork anyway. If Amtrak can be made to provide better service, surely that will improve energy efficiency and facilitate commerce in the areas it serves; money for childcare helps create or sustain jobs, and facilitates parents going to work; global warming and carbon capture research would create or sustain good jobs in the science and technology sectors and would also help us deal with an ongoing crisis.

The WSJ makes its snide remark about the NEA too. But as Svetx says, arts are a crucial part of a healthy economy. Consider what she and I did last night. We went to a concert by the North Carolina Jazz Repertory Orchestra (NCJRO or N.C.J-Ro!) in a nearby town. They are amazing, by the way. Before the concert, we had dinner at a restaurant, and while at dinner our waiter informed us about a an awesome Paperhand Puppet Theater show coming to town. Svetx had seen the show in another town and she said it was awesome, so we will be going to that too. Then, after seeing NC J-Ro, we had dessert at another place that tries so hard to have fancy desserts they don't have basic milkshakes or chocolate syrup.

The point is, we participated in the economy because of the NC J-Ro. Consider that art is one of the few reasons people come to a city center after business hours and on weekends. Sure, bars and clubs are another reason; but the bars and clubs, and the city overall, benefit from having folks interested in art come downtown to spend money.

The NC J-Ro receives support from the NC Arts Council which is in partnership with the NEA.

I come from a pretty much neoconservative family that supports preemptive war and is deeply concerned about government waste. And yet, my stepmom enrolls in art classes from time to time in Richmond, VA which is a 1.5 hour drive away from her and my Dad's home. They drive to Richmond to see shows that she participates in, and to see other concert and theater events. I bet a lot of performers and artists they appreciate receive some support, at least indirectly, from the NEA. Republicans might want to consider what would be left if there were no government support for the arts.

I could list the rest of the examples of pork cited by the WSJ, but I have similar responses to them too.

Nonetheless, Republicans will complain. This is all just a New Deal redux, they say. Government spending didn't end the Great Depression; World War II did! (Apparently they don't think the government paid for WWII. After all, for all of the Bush administration, the government didn't pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan either.)

On the other hand, liberals say it's time to revisit the theories of Keynes, who is reputed to have said that in times of recession, the government should pay people to dig holes and fill them back up again (I can't find the original source of that quote though). The natural response to this is to suggest that the government pay people to do jobs that would be more beneficial, and this brings us back to the stimulus package and its elements that conservatives consider to be pork.

Fine. So conservatives don't want pork but do favor war spending, and liberals want Keynes. Here's my compromise: have the government pay people to build war machinery and then destroy it. We could stage demolition derbies with tanks. Because, that's basically what happens to tanks and jeeps and everything. They go to desert environments and get blown up all at once, or sand-blasted over time. But we don't want to start a new war, because our current wars indicate that we won't find in modern wars that definitive ending that makes WWII such a subject of nostalgia.

Tanks for the conservatives, Keynes for the liberals. That's our answer.

Continue . . .

Sunday, February 22, 2009

An Outsider Goes In


Former housemate Brooks is going places.

You could have called us losers. While pouring beans out of a can into a pot once, he asked me, “What’s your favorite bean?”

“Black. But when I get tired of that, I change it up with some pintos.”

After his first year of living with me and attending business school, he spent the summer doing internships in San Francisco and D.C. When he was due to return for his second year of school, he asked if, instead of moving back into his old room, he could rent the crumbling shed behind our house for a measly $10.00 a month. He would take showers and use the bathroom indoors, but sleep out there.

I knew he would do it too. Over the summer he had emailed me descriptions of sitting on the floors of subway stations of San Francisco, his back against the tile wall, reading about African population and disease statistics. Once a bum had come and sat next to him and talked gibberish, then tilted over and fallen asleep on his leg. Brooks just kept reading.

At the end of that internship, he delivered a presentation about how that foundation’s disease prevention efforts were not as effective as they could be, and he recommended some new approaches.

“No,” I said, “You may not live in the crumbling shack. If you live on the premises, you man-up and carry your weight -- $250.00 per month share for rent plus utilities like the rest of us pay.” I mean, it’s not like I was asking him to live according to middle class values or anything. We are not air conditioned; a family of birds nests in our chimney every summer. Anyway, I knew that, if he were to move into the shed, I’d be out there on the cold nights insisting that he come indoors.

Instead, for that fall, he found a long-term housesitting gig in town. For his final semester the following spring, he doubled up on schoolwork by beginning a public health program in Baltimore and dividing his time between here and there. Then he enrolled in a PhD program for agricultural engineering in Baltimore, and used his grad school stipend not to live on, but to start a non-profit company that experiments with growing meat as tissue culture. The plan is to one day replace factory farms with incubators that grow only muscle, not entire animals.

Now he speaks at international conferences dealing with food production. His ex-girlfriend from here told me that his research compelled him to compile a list of the greatest risks our country faces. I don’t know what they are, but guess what -- it’s not Iran’s 3.49% concentrated uranium. He submitted this list to some pentagon official, and was invited in for some conference there.

When he lived with me, I had lost a job and was sleeping late most days, and applying to graduate schools in creative writing. We all know what happened with that. I eventually found my way back into the field I had worked in previously. But now that field is slackening off, what with the economy and all. I’m sleeping late a lot of days. And taking naps. I wake up not knowing whether it’s time for breakfast or dinner; the room is dark either way.

Usually I don’t know what to do upon waking, so I check email. And one evening, while doing this, still groggy, the phone vibrated. It was an investigator calling to ask about Brooks.

When did I know him, and in what capacity?

Housemates, I said. How much would this guy want to know?

I did not say that I had met Brooks when he called one August Friday morning when I was in the final days of that job I lost. He wanted to see the house that day and have us make the decision right then on whether he could move in. I said that usually we take a few days after the interview to check references. He offered to give me the references so I could check them during that day, from work, before we met. Then, if I liked him and had found the references favorable, I could then make the decision right there.

I was feeling a little pushed into this, but I said I’d check the references. They were two or three guys spread all around the country, and all had those non-violent vegetarian tenor voices like you hear on This American Life. They said that Brooks was great -- that he would “invent something for us, like a better way to dry clothes on the line,” that he would refinish the floors.

Brooks showed up and liked the downstairs room, somewhat separate from the rest of the rooms upstairs. He said all he would have would be a sleeping bag and a bicycle. His dad was with him and sat out on the front walkway while Brooks and I talked. I liked him and said he could move in. His dad wrote the first check. Two weeks later Brooks came back with his stuff.

A bicycle, sleeping bag, backpacks and books. The smell of musty camping gear emanated from his room and filled the stairwell to the upstairs hall. He had nothing to sleep on besides his sleeping bag. I insisted that he add the guest mattress to his accouterments. It had been our guest accommodations for years. We would get it out from the attic and slide down the stairs on it, crashing into the hall closet door on the first floor. We slid it down for the last time for Brooks, and on it he slept and studied that whole year, reading by the stark light of the single bare lightbulb in the ceiling six feet above his head, his back against the plaster wall.

He rode that old beat-up three-speed bike to class and back. He said he didn’t even want a 10-speed, because he could fix the 3-speed himself. And he never wanted to drive a car because he never wanted to kill anyone on the highway.

He was a student at one of the most prestigious business schools in the country.

The investigator said that it was customary for students at this school to do a lot of their work online and cut classes. He asked if Brooks did this. I admitted that he had. (I didn’t say that he had even skipped one class so much that that professor put his picture from the class roster on the overhead projector and asked the class who he was. Near the end of the semester, Brooks needed to attend that class to take a test. His classmates warned him that the professor had recognized his absence. So Brooks went in disguise. He wore Groucho Marx glasses and moustache, and a baseball cap.)

What was he doing when cutting class?

Mostly he studied for other things, I said. (He sat in on extra ethics classes that he was not officially enrolled in, because he felt he needed an antidote to business school. He stated that he wanted to date a “vegan ethicist,” and another housemate found him one. Her favorite word was “aricea,” Greek for knowing what is the right thing to do and not doing it.)

One night at the semester’s end I found Brooks at the dining room table with books and printouts spread all out. I asked what he was studying for, and he told me he was boning up on certain writings on Utilitarianism, which had been a focus of his undergraduate studies. I said that didn’t sound like a business school class. He said it wasn’t -- he was having a date with that girlfriend the next day, and she had said she wanted to ask him some questions about this branch of philosophy.

So he was studying for his date. During the semester’s end exam period. I figured there was no way I could describe all this to the investigator. But I did say that Brooks was the most ascetic person I know -- the person who most lives according to his values. He’s not just talking the talk.

Did he have any hobbies?

Not really. (Unless you want to talk about “The Big Lebowski,” which we watched over and over again in 10 minute intervals while eating oatmeal in the morning, Raman noodles in the afternoon, beans and rice in the evening. When we would reach the end, we would start it over. This went on for months. Our conversations came to consist mostly of quotes from that movie. “It’s a nice drive to Winston-Salem . . . well, parts at least.”)

Would I trust him with national secrets?

I would trust him as much as anyone I know with such secrets. He takes things very seriously.

Has he ever been a part of subversive or terrorist organizations?

No. (But he would take vegetables out of the compost bin behind the food coop and bring them home and cook them. I went with him one night. We stepped over a chain barring the alley, took the lid off the compost garbage cans, and right there was some only slightly un-fresh broccoli. We took it home and steamed it up with some lemon juice.)

Funny, I was thinking. Once upon a time, the word “terrorist” would have been instead “communist.” I should have said, “No sir. But there were these communists . . . ”

I wrote to Brooks and asked him what he was going to be doing. He said it would be working to forestall the attack by killer robots. Had I seen the Sarah Connor Chronicles? Scary, Dude.

Continue . . .

Saturday, February 21, 2009

This Whole Media Thing is Getting Out of Hand

It's gotten so any loser can record himself and post it on the 'net. I recently purchased these cool mics for my work, and a housemate went and used them to record himself on some creaky out-of-tune piano where his girlfriend is house sitting. Took him like an hour of egregiously missing notes to finally get this overly cautious rendition out, and it's still ragged and misses notes. Well. There's probably a better playing of the piano solo in one of the takes, but who wants to dig through an hour of media to find it.

Oh, and this is Elton John's "Rock Me When He's Gone," in case anyone cares about hearing it played well.


Continue . . .

Sunday, February 15, 2009

New Ice Cream Flavors



Ben & Jerry's flavors honoring George W. Bush are listed here. My suggestion is "Dubya Dip Credit Crunch."

Flavors honoring Sarah Palin are here. My suggestion is "Trackolate Pipermint Wanillow Bristol Trigonometric Swirl."

Meanwhile, there are rumors of more unplanned parenthood in the family of this family values politician. I honestly hope it's not true. The pro-life family values camp will deny its significance, and anyway, the world does not need two more fatherless children.

Continue . . .

Monday, February 2, 2009

Sarah Palin is So Dumb . . .


. . . She ran for governor because she heard it was "in Juneau" and she had always wanted to be a French actress.

Honk!

In other news, it looks like she lied to the RNC, telling them that she could not attend their winter retreat because she had important work in Alaska that same weekend. Then, on the Friday of that weekend, she was seen at a GOP fundraiser in DC (the same town as the retreat, and not the same as any town in Alaska) and the following night she was at the Alfalfa Club dinner, also in DC. I can attest to that. Here's a lousy cell phone picture I took of her entering the ballroom at the Capital Hilton. She's the blur in front of the window. But even in the blur, her Pentecostal hair is distinct as a Miss America crown.

Oh, and apparently, Alaska receives $1.87 for every dollar it pays out in federal taxes. It is the second largest welfare state after New Mexico.

Hmm. New Mexico keeps coming up as one of the best states to put our nation's algae farms for growing oil for Diesel and jet fuel. Hey New Mexico -- wanna bring in some cash?

Continue . . .