Elrond Hubbard: River Recordings

Quotes and Jokes

Carrie Prejean says the Bible does not forbid breast implants. But don't they qualify as false idols? After all, coming in pairs, they are an affront to monotheism.

Have you heard about Sarah Palin's treatise on her values system? It's called "Gouging Roe."

Did you hear about Sarah Palin's writing process? She loves going Roget just to prove that humans can coexist with dinosaurs.

Once we empowered jihadists to fight communism. Now we've gone into debt to a communist country to combat jihadism.

Boogie Boarding is like the real estate business. Catching the right wave is all about "Location, location, location."

Boogie Boarding like playing the stock market. Don't chase the waves. If you go where a wave has broken, you won't catch another there. Stay put, be ready, and seize the one that comes for you.

Torture is like oral sex. It makes men babble whatever they think you want to hear.

When are Greeks like sperm? When they are repelled by Trojans, Honk! (Take a horse to get through that . . .)

All my "X's" fled Texas and left me just with tea.

I gave her my heart, with all that entails; all I got were her liberal-activist bulk emails.

Nuclear weapons are like cigarettes. Kids want them so they can feel grown up; adults want to keep them while preventing kids from having them.

Writing is like sculpting, except first you have to write the block of marble into existence before you can begin taking away what doesn't belong.

Overheard at the convention of Catholic basketball coaches: "Better a Christian Laettner than a Christian Never-ner!"

Elrond Hubbard

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Sunday, March 8, 2009

River Recordings

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