Wednesday, December 26, 2007

More Night Sounds from the Other Side of the Orbit

Last summer I posted some sounds of tree frogs and cicadas I had recorded. Adam Schultz suggested I post some more in the dead of winter, when maybe we are missing such noises, so here you go. This audio clip is shorter than a minute, and unlike the previous one, uses some compression to pull the quieter mating calls out from the depths of the forest and cram them into your speakers, along with a little more air conditioner or nearby road noise.



Well, I reckon I've just been Mr. Audio/Visual lately, eh?

Continue . . .

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Good Test of my Deodorant

At the local fun park, I don’t play the driving video games. Nor do I fly a plane, ski, or mess with secret martial arts moves -- at least, not any more, not since I gave up trying to make the character of Yoshimitsu, a swordsman, behave properly in the game Tekken, versions 1 through 3, years ago.

He just got weirder and weirder, with more and more moves that never really worked, like that thing where he sits down and masturbates with his sword and gets life back.

That’s always a good way to get clobbered. It happens by accident at just the wrong times, too. You’re trying to do the leg sweeps followed by the rising kick, and you hit the foot buttons at the same time rather than one after the other, and right there in the heat of battle he’s sitting down and masturbating.

I see Tekken 5 and I do try it once, and I find Yoshimitsu's skin now sunken in against his bones, his eyes glowing. Poor guy needs some lotion.

So I do it old school. I go to get a gift certificate for some kids in my family, and then I head into the fray, going past the 3-d pill-box shooter, past the pinball games that give you, like, 3 balls for a dollar now, past the game where someone rips off your head and pours your brains down his throat like he’s chugging beer from a pitcher.

I go to the Williams Electronics games of yesteryear, the mid 80’s, when video games ran on abstraction and geometry and they still used lasers by God. Lasers. That’s fair weaponry in video games. That’s Geneva Video Game Convention approved. You don’t gotta go online to some chat room to learn the code to fire your laser. You don’t gotta deal with some nearly naked Bruce Li -- though, to be honest, the video game characters, acting through their polygons, are better actors than Bruce Li.

Nope. You move a spaceship or a little dude around, you shoot a laser, and that’s pure and honest. When you're done, you're done. There's no inserting more coins to continue. No one gets resurrected either. You have your lives, usually starting with 3 and getting another every 10,000 or so, and once they’re used up, that’s it. The problem with kids these days is, they think they can just come back to life or something. Save the game. Sheesh. You think you got time to save the game when the last humanoid has been abducted and the planet surface is unstable and the whole thing’s about to go ka-flooy and all the landers will turn into mutants? No. No pausing, no saving. You step up to the plate and you’re there for the duration. You gotta class to go to and you’re on a roll? Forget it. You skip the class.

It's my first game of Stargate in years, and I forget to warp from the first level. Damn, that used to always be the thing to do. When it's over, tendons of my right hand hurt from dealing with that whole problem of manipulating the fire, thrust, and inviso buttons at the same time. When I was 14 I never hurt like this.

I next go to Robotron which, I later learned, was invented by EJ and LD, the same guys who brought us Stargate (and it's predecessor, Defender), after EJ received a hand injury in a car accident and needed to play a game that did not have buttons to press. So it's therapy for me as it was for him.

In Robotron, you just have to get in touch with the base of your spinal cord and not let any nerve impulses come any higher, because that takes too long. Fighting the grunts, you can shoot and move any which way. But when the pulsing red circles appear, quickly look to where most of them are on the screen and head toward them. Root them out. Shoot them as fast as you can before they start emitting those gray things that shoot little “plus” signs. In chasing the red circles, you get to the edge of the board, so now just start moving around the edge shooting diagonally into the center of the board or ahead of yourself to clear a path, watching out for the flying “plus” signs coming from the grey things that were emitted from circles you didn’t get to in time. Damn, that automatic weapon just doesn’t shoot fast enough.

When you get to the brains, at least they are kind of slow so you can pick them off pretty easily, but if you let them reprogram too many humans, you’re screwed. And often they are on screens with the red circles/grey things anyway, so mostly you have to deal with the red circles/grey things.

There comes the wave that begins with those pulsing squares moving all around you. They turn into larger red robots that roll quickly and shoot fireballs that bounce off the walls. Now you need a whole new strategy. Do not head for the wall and run around the outside like you did in chasing the red circles, because near the wall and especially in the corners, you have to deal with the fireballs bouncing off the walls. Instead, stay in the middle, where you only have to dodge them on the first pass. Run in little circles around the middle, shoot everything as much as you can, and just stay alive as long as you can, and hope for luck. You will probably die at least once on every level like this.

On every level, sweep up as many humans as you can. This is the best way to get points, extra lives, and prolong the game. Always, when there’s just one robot left, leave it alive until all the humans are swept up.

I got to 300,000 points on Robotron, probably the best I’ve ever done, though perhaps some of you readers have done better -- and note that some Immortals' scores are well into the millions.

Then, back on Stargate, I again missed warping on the first wave. Darn. But on the second wave, I found myself with three humanoids in tow. Was that enough? I hit the Stargate and BAM, there it went, the warp to wave 4. On that wave, I actually got three humanoids in tow again and warped to wave 7 or so, skipping over the Yllabian Dogfight, a disappointment since that wave is cool. By the way, Yllabian, as in Yllabian Space Guppies, comes from Bally spelled backwards. Also, the green lander aliens are of the Irata race -- Atari spelled backwards -- and the Munchies are based on Pac-Man. Bally, Atari, and Pac-Man are all competitors of Williams electronics, and are creatures you have to save the world from in this game. Meanwhile, the Dynamo and Space Hum are homage to the Frank Zappa song. This info I get from here.

I lose the planet at some point near 90,000, but finish the wave and arrive at the Firebomber Showdown. Here I confuse Pods for Firebombers on the scanner, and I end up smart-bombing a bunch of Firebombers when the Pod Intersection was occurring somewhere else. I'm out of smart bombs, so when I do encounter pods I shoot them with the laser and then shoot each Swarmer. Any Stargate player will tell you, when you are shooting the Pods and Swarmers with your lasers, you're in deep trouble. But I did make it to over 100,000 in that game, also a personal best, also not so hot compared to Immortals' scores.

After the second game of Stargate, I have more tendon pain in the right hand plus the old blister on the little finger of my left hand where I grind it under the up-down lever. When I was a teenager, I had a permanent callous there, and no tendon pain.

Driving home, I do hand and wrist stretches I have learned in arnis.

Playing these games makes me sweat more than anything else, except exercising outside in the summertime. Exercising at any other time -- outside in the fall, winter, or spring -- does not make me sweat as much as playing these games. And coming away from them, I feel like I’ve been somewhere I can’t explain, some other place where I was simply on, livid, living, and loose if it went well. If I play too many, I tighten up. So I leave before finishing my own fun card. Plus, my hand hurts.

Continue . . .

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Price of Gas

Photos and post title from friend Svetlana

Riding shotgun, Svets said, “There’s crucifixes next to a gas pump.” We were driving toward Meadow Lights, a yearly Christmas display produced in the town for which it’s named. I was making sure to match pace with the other slow vehicles, all of us moving at less than funeral procession speed with our headlights off out of respect for other lights. Funny how people know to fall in line at certain times, like while driving past Christmas lights or when bowing our heads in prayer. I’m always afraid at such times that I’ll stand out as the one who is not engaged. When among people praying, or being sworn in for jury duty, I feel nothing special. I also have little to no reverence for the holiday commemorated at Meadow Lights. I just love the overall glow created by all those little sources of light planted everywhere. Everything is lit from below, the sides. Shadows are filled in. Worries are chased away. Surely, anonymous in the dark interior of my small SUV, my irreverence would not be evident, as long as I did not draw attention to us by bumping the SUV in front of us.

I missed what Svets had seen, and hearing her comment I could not fathom it. Crucifixes and a gas pump all in a mere lights display? Who would put a gas pump next to crucifixes anyway? It sounded like something I would do, if I can claim to be that clever, which I can’t -- but I can claim to have the desire to be that subversive at least. And aren’t crucifixes for some other holiday? Apparently, someone felt the need to bring it all in here, both ends of Jesus’ famous life. The same person would probably demand performances of Handel’s entire Messiah, not just the Christmas part. (The Wikipedia entry explains that The Messiah has three parts called Birth, Passion, and Aftermath. Normally at Christmas, only the Birth part is performed. The Hallelujah Chorus is in the Passion part but is joined with the Birth part for performances at Christmas.)

The Last Supper was also on display.

I had wanted to find a holiday display where we could walk in the midst of the lights. Once we parked at Meadow Lights, we found that you can merely walk to the edge of the meadow where they have the lights. You can buy a two-dollar “train” ride through the meadow, but the makeshift engine and plywood-walled cars looked pretty cold that night. So we stood around shivering at the edge of the meadow and did not get our shadows fully chased away, our souls fully cleansed.

Driving away, Svets pointed out the crucifixes again. We decided to take cell phone pictures. So we drove down the road to a dark empty parking lot, turned around, went back, rejoined the solemn procession toward the lights. The crucifixes were in a person’s yard, and ropes were strung around the edge of the yard, clearly indicating that we were not to walk into the yard. I pulled the car into a wide shoulder area where it was completely off the road, and Svetlana jumped out and ducked right under the ropes and ran up close to the crucifixes and moved around, finding various framings. She came back and said it looked like an old gas station had been there, and the pump happened to be still standing, not intentionally part of the display. But there it was, an accidental convergence of the two things that, I fear, are all America knows of the Middle East: Jesus and gas.


The Meadow Lights are an elaborate display appearing yearly, with unexplained origins like crop circles, in a remote field several miles off the interstate. It’s an impressive and charming occurrence despite my particular disappointment at not being able to walk among the lights. It is advertised along the interstate with small white square signs close to the ground which say, simply, “Meadow Lights.” People know what that means though, and when the signs go up they come, from miles around, clogging the local road with their extra-slow process. Aside from the lighted meadow itself with the makeshift train, which has no tracks and simply rolls on tires on a dirt path, there’s a large building wherein they sell all manner of candies. We bought a Grape Nehi and a Blenheim Ginger Ale. There’s another large building with many windows along one side and fair-food vendors selling food out of these windows. Clearly, it’s a major money-maker for someone.

One of the coolest things about Meadow Lights were the houses near to it with fairly tasteful decorations in their yards (perhaps trying to strike a contrast to the tackiness of the meadow display proper). These decorations were lavishly continued into the interior of the houses, where curtains were open and lights were on so that the interior decorations were as easily seen from the road as the exterior ones. No residents were seen at these houses. I guess no one around there really sits in their living room during the holiday weeks. They’re probably back in the den playing World of Warcraft.

Driving away for the second time Svets did spy one house less-than-tasteful, with its own peculiar convergence of imagery. In its well-lit front room, overlooking the seasonal array of hobby horses, carousels on tables, lambs, reindeer, were the heads of real, dead, hunted deer. We decided more pictures were needed. We turned around in the same empty parking lot down the road and, for a third time, joined the procession back to the display. I pulled over again and Svets got out, dove under the ropes, trespassed into the yard (“as we forgive those who trespass against us”).


This time I zoned out and watched the myriad of parking lights on cars coming toward me. I heard dogs growling and barking well before I thought to look back at Svets. She was calmly photographing through her cell phone with two white dogs milling in front of her. She came back and said the “hell hounds” had chased her and she had darted backwards until she realized they were stuck behind an invisible fence. So then she had gone right up to the safe side of the fence and taken the pictures.


So there we have animals hunted, revered, used as guards. And Jesus and gas.

But who are Svets and I to go through the countryside finding irony and photographing it as if we were on some anthropoligical expedition. We eat meat. We certainly had a great bar-b-que dinner at the Meadow Restaurant by the interstate, which sees a surge of business because of the nearby Lights. And I drove an SUV to get us there, thereby not only using gas, but more than a minimal amount. And I receive Christmas presents and even give a few. So who are we to be critical?

Maybe I should just keep in mind the higher message. This is something everyone can agree on.

And Meadow Lights will continue to remind us of this message as long as people continue to come to buy the candy.

As described, Svets spied these choice sights and took the photos. Also, she named the first one The Price of Gas, a perfectly chilling title to go with that image, so I stole that title for this post. Ideally, she would have blogged about this herself, but she doesn't have a blog, and I do. And you know how we established bloggers are about needing content.

Continue . . .

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Yet Another Iraq War Haiku

Now Iraq is what
Afghanistan is: tribal.
They call this progress.

Two previous Iraq War haikus are here. My first is here.

Some pro-war haikus are here. Read the comments after that post for even more.

Continue . . .

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

A Date with Death . . . And the Cats Were Blowing!

A friend overheard some high school boys talking at the next table in a coffee shop on a recent Saturday morning.

“What’re you doin’ t’night?”

“I’m goin’ ‘o see Mahler.”

“Who’re they?”

(Maybe these were the guys with moussed up hair I saw in the restroom after the concert. They were talking about “Sledgehammer Dude,” the tall gray-haired percussionist who has spent his life doing the cool jobs in the orchestra, who calmly walked between the instrument stations behind the orchestra, thumbing through his many pages of score as he moved. For the famous “Strokes of Death” in the final movement, he would pick up an oversized mallet with a wooden handle maybe 5 feet long topped by a metal-looking cube larger than a human head. He would hold this mallet vertically, with both hands at the end of the handle, as if playing some Highlander game (except he was probably wearing underwear), and bring it crashing down onto some platform about the height of a table. The specifics of the mallet and table I can’t find anywhere online. I guess each orchestra has to just come up with its own system. Or maybe they can just go on “Mahler’s 6th Sledgehammer and Platforms.com.” I read somewhere that the original score simply calls for a sledgehammer to be struck against a reinforced portion of the floor. It makes a sharp “Bang” without the reverberation of a bass drum.

All musical samples in this post are stolen from my wonderful recording of Bernstein with the VPO. They are under 30 seconds long except for two which are noted. The following is one of the loudest, so you can adjust your volume by it for comfort. Some other samples will be incredibly soft, but that's part of the experience. Everything would sound best on headphones, but be sure you don't crank them too loudly!

You can hear the sledgehammer at the start of this clip, but really, the brasses are louder.



“That whole symphony,” the high schoolers in the bathroom were saying, “an adagio and everything, and all I can think about is the sledgehammer.”)

I wanted to go to the concert with Svetlana, but she had her own date with destiny in the form of some alt-indy-lesbo-punk thing. What can you do?

You feel awkward asking just anyone to go see Mahler. You never know who may have had a bad experience with him. Some folks' parents dragged them to the symphony when they were kids and they spent the whole time thinking, as best they could at that age, “WTF is all the fuss about?” Or worse, maybe, like one woman, they had a “friend” who punched them repeatedly one night because he had been depressed for two weeks after hearing this exact symphony, Mahler’s Sixth, performed live. Years after the punching, she had to steel herself to go see it for herself, and her commentary pretty much sums up all the negative lay-criticism of Mahler’s themes and overwrought presentation. Death, Life, Heroism . . . my therapist would call it "All or Nothing Thinking." Don’t say I’m not fair and balanced for providing this anti-Mahler link.

Then there’s Lewis Thomas’ famous essay about the nature of death in the nuclear age entitled Late Night Thoughts on Listening to Mahler’s Ninth. Or this businessman who had nearly no musical training and was so deeply affected by a performance of Mahler's Second (humbly titled “Resurrection”) that he sought conductor training, met with many famous conductors, and eventually made a recording with himself leading the London Symphony.

Sheesh. What a bunch of morons these Mahlerians are. They should have just gone to Dorkfest.

In any case, you can see why an invitation to Mahler is a touchy subject. It’s not like saying, “You catch Dylan?” or “Dude -- Nightranger!”

So I went online, perused the seating charts, tried to remember what that concert hall looked like when I was there years ago, and sprang for a single expensive ticket.

I was almost late getting there. I have trouble with that part of that neighboring city, and while speeding on the interstate well over the limit, I was trying to punch in the quirky address in a way that the Garmin would accept. For some reason, it kept not recognizing it. So then I was trying to enter the name of the auditorium, trying to think of what permutations of “Memorial” and “Hall” would work, checking the dark road ahead and in the mirrors between reaching for each letter. Several miles later, the Garmin recognized the destination in time to direct me on a fairly quick route I would not have thought to take myself. Doing all that keypunching while driving, I just about ended my date with death prematurely. I wouldn’t have needed the expensive ticket after all.

I tossed my money at the parking attendant, blazed up through the spiraling parking deck, couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get my keys out of the ignition until I realized that I had not put it in park before shutting it off, ran to the wrong end of the performance complex, ran back to the correct end, got my ticket at Will Call, ran to the wrong entrance to the hall, ran to correct entrance to the hall, and was told that I probably could not go to the bathroom -- it would be a 22 minute wait before late seating if I didn’t make it. So I ran up to my lower balcony seat with a dry throat and wet bladder and had to ask half a row of rich old white folks who routinely occupy those seats to stand and let me get to my own plum single seat in their midst.

I had time to calm down before the music starrted. A former governor came out and started talking about how this would be the very last performance by our conductor laureate (who used to be the principal conductor) with the symphony. He said he used to hire the symphony to go on business recruiting trips with him, and it had helped bring a certain blah-blah impressive number of dollars into our state. This brought applause from the audience, and I had to agree that using the symphony in that fashion was an awfully good idea. I maybe would not have thought of it, even. A lesser leader would do the standard dog-and-pony-vinegar-Bar-B-Que show, maybe play Old Time music on a PA system. But no, bring the symphony, show those Texans or Conneticetians or whatever that we’re cosmopolitan down here, it’s okay to bring your glue factory and create 300 jobs. Don’t play Mahler on those trips -- play something like Beethoven or Tchaikovsky that everyone likes. Someone else’s Pastoral or Pathétique sixth, not Mahler’s ass-buster.

They went on lauding the outgoing conductor laureate, presented him with “tokens of their appreciation,” basically gushing landed-class love all over the stage, and I’m thinking, “Does anyone know what we’re in for?”

The governor and other speakers seemed oblivious. And surely, there were unsuspecting virgins in the audience as well, folks who had not known to bring their spray bottles, their slices of toast, their newpaper for covering their heads. It was like going back in time to early 1929 and hearing someone say they had just invested their fortune in blue-chip stock. You just wanted to shake them by the collar and say “My God man, do you know what you’re in for!”

Then the presentations and acceptances were over, the dignitaries left the stage, there was final tuning, and then the outgoing conductor laureate came back out, raised his baton, and lowered it.



It was like going back to an old house that has lived so long in memory, you can’t believe it’s real. There’s the corner of the kitchen where we kept the bag of navy beans which rotted, and eventually were thrown out. There’s that smell of natural gas which persisted though all pilot lights were burning, causing us to keep the kitchen window cracked. I used to live in that house with ShakeThatCat. It had grand white columns supporting the roof of the porch going around three sides, a frosted glass front door where the landlord had taught himself to do gold leafing, more columns in the interior foyer, tile-lined fireplaces, creaky hard wood floors. Leading upward from the foyer was a front stairway with three flights, a grand ascent to glass doors which would normally lead to a less private room, but which lead in this case to Shake’s bedroom. He kept the landing outside these doors packed with stuff, so nobody used these stairs. To get to the “front” of our apartment, one would walk along the creaky downstairs hall, past the two first floor apartments where chefs at prominent local restaurants lived, and climb a back stairway to a landing which had a door to our apartment’s living room, a second door to Shake’s room, and another door to the other upstairs apartment.

We lived there well over ten years ago, and I still have dreams of being home in the daytime in that house, as I often was in those days of under-employment. Sunlight would stream in and strike the white carpet of my bedroom floor, the only carpeted floor I knew of in the whole house, and be scattered about the walls, under the furniture, into the living room, chasing out the shadows, making the interior appear to glow from no discernible source. In dreams I leave our apartment and sneak into the creaky hall and find some other apartment I had not known of before, and go in. It’s also white-carpeted and sunny, and I am not supposed to be there, because it is someone else’s and they might come home. Once, maybe, it was mine, and it was empty, but I could not believe that I could afford such a place alone. Another time there was furniture, a dining room table with tall candlesticks, and I was famous, people were coming to meet me.

Several times I found an extensive glassed-in porch off the back of the house which had not been there before.

In reality, the landlord kept the thermostat in the upstairs hall locked in a box. The house was freezing. So, we would take ice packs from the freezer and put them on top of the thermostat box and make that dragon in the basement bark, make its hot breath blow, yes sir! I forget if the woman in the other upstairs apartment knew we were doing this, or noticed that her place, too, would sometimes heat up like a sauna.

I had not played my recording of Mahler’s Sixth, maybe, since I lived there. Still, I knew every turn and texture of pavement as it came, and it was amazing to see this work which normally existed only as a specific recording in my stereo speakers, exactly the same every time, be reanimated by our own symphony next door.



Here we have cowbells and other percussion (maybe celeste -- certainly the celeste appears later) for some of Mahler’s soft, ethereal effects



At the live performance, I was thinking that some things were being done better by our local orchestra than in my recording. In these transparent parts with interplay between various single instruments, much care was taken to stretch out phrases, to linger on final notes before tipping into the next phrase. But now, listening to these examples from my recording, I think they’re beautiful here too. This is a long, soft sample at about one minute.



Mahler really creates a sense of spaciousness with his large orchestra. In the next sample it’s done in two ways: with the contrast of blaring high brass and grumbling low, and also in rests where the orchestra shuts up to let its funk reverberate about the hall for an instant before moving on with more of it.



I know we’ve all heard a lot of loud orchestra music in our day, and we can become anesthetized to it. But seeing the end of the first movement live, seeing the conductor pushing the tempo, making all these cues, and the instruments making their layered entrances which easily could be mis-timed, it’s like watching some NASCAR driver press it down for his final lap, weaving among the other cars recklessly, and you’re like, “Buddy, don’t fall apart now.”



The orchestra nailed it at maybe a little higher speed than this recording, and in the hush that followed, that lasted while latecomers furtively took their seats, it seemed everyone was afraid to make a sound and be the one person in the room to fuck things up. But the woman next to me did suck in her breath and say “Whoa.” I looked at her and her husband and nodded. If I had known them better, I might have whispered, “This shit is tight!”

I was ready for the next movement to be the fast one, and was startled to hear them start the slow one. I don’t know why they switched these two.

12/7/07 Update: I just read that Mahler originally intended the fast movement to be second, as it is in my recording. It begins with a 3/4 time "march" that sounds a lot like parts of the 20 minute first movement which, when heard right after the first movement, gives a distinctive "here we go again" kind of feeling. I've always felt, that's like life. If its not one damn thing, it's two damn things. When it rains, it pours. Out of the jam and into the jelly -- or out of the closet and into the utility room, whichever you prefer. You get the idea. But then, during rehearsals for the first performance in Essen, Germany, in 1906, Mahler switched the order so that the slow movement is second, and the fast one is third, and the redundancy is concealed, so it's less like life. Which I guess means, it's more like death. Which is probably Mahler's point in the first place.

I think the slow movement of Mahler’s Sixth is his best slow movement in all his symphonies. In parts it is very mournful, but always with great tunefulness. Our symphony had much more opportunity here to stretch phrases more than this recording, as they had done in the first movement.



The fast movement lacked an element that my recording has. Mahler was a non-practicing Jew from Bohemia, and used a lot of folk styles in his symphonies. This riff in the woodwinds was played kind of squarely by our symphony, but on the recording, Bernstein knows how to work it



And let’s not forget Mahler’s kids playing in the sandbox!



Giving a modern-day reading to the final movement’s sledgehammer blows, they can perhaps be interpreted as trips to the doctor where one is reminded of one’s worsening condition.



But between the hammer blows, the final movement shows many moods of life: mysterious beginnings wherein we find the seeds of the orchestration used a generation later in Hollywood for dream and hypnosis sequences . . .



. . . troubled times . . .




. . . and as always with Germanic Romantic composers, some moment of triumph



The final movement doesn’t settle down much until right at the end, and by then, you think, this must be it. That condition the doctor has been warning us about has finally caught up to us and we’re languishing in our easy chair with nothing but our memories and the quiet chorale in the trombones and other low brass. Starting halfway through this two-minute sample, listen for a series of notes in the horns which crecsendo quietly from nowhere, then drop an octave once they are noticed. There are three of these octave drops, the third quietly resolving the cadence, closing things down, turning off the lights for the last time.



They’ve come for you. They are tapping at the door, they are pressing their faces at the window, and soon they’ll be inside. They’ll be patient. They’ll wait for you to wake up in your chair and look around, startled, and get your bearings. You can put on your slippers. They’ve got all day -- the outcome is the same anyway. As they lead you away, supporting you by the arms, it seems good enough, sad enough, to simply fade like this. But then the rest of the orchestra starts to move. Flutes, oboes, clarinets, violins, violas, trumpets, the rest of the horns are raised. It’s the violent killer, whom you had thought was ruled out in favor of this quieter end, rising from the floor, out of focus in the background, hobbling toward you. You’re not going to get off easy. There is a final scream, and someone in the audience to my right actually jumped. She was one of the virgins, I presume. Then all that’s left is one quiet pizzicato “thump.”

Continue . . .