Sunday, March 30, 2008

More Haikus on You-Know-What

two things we can do
blow stuff up; buy people off
neither is birthpang


make more enemies
than we kill; kill far more than
just our enemies

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Network that Used to Show Music Videos Meets the Family that Used to be Righteous

It’s been almost a week since I was fired off this show. Now I think I can begin to talk about it.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

An Overview of the Future



Texas. "Big deal," you say.

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Iraq War Haiku on "Progress"

Buy off enemies
We "couldn't coddle" after
Invasion made them

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Our First Sighting of an Algae Farm



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An Open Letter to The Atlantic Paranormal Society (T.A.P.S.) aka Ghost Hunters


First of all, nobody includes “The” in their acronym. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is not T.S.P.C.A. The Future Farmers of America is not T.F.F.A. Do you expect libraries and video stores to keep your "The" in the proper place? Not a chance. They don't have a "The" section. They will be calling you Atlantic Paranormal Society comma The, and that's just lame. You don't want to your archived research to spend eternity with its heading all jacked around like that. I know you can't just take the "T" off, 'cause then you'd be A.P.S. I suggest going French: Société Paranormal Atlantique or S.P.A. Everyone likes a spa. People can relate to that.

Secondly, what is with you guys always shaking hands and doing the “Wonder Twin Powers” fist bump? No wonder you keep picking up electromagnetic signals on your tricorders or whatever. Any excuse you have -- meeting someone new, meeting someone you already know, reaching an agreement, starting something, wrapping things up -- one of you holds out a fist and waits for another to fist-bump it, or swings arm in a huge sweep like an airplane coming out of a holding pattern and lining up . . . Touchdown! You shake manly hands, the Earth is moved, and radiation is released for your equipment to pick up later.

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